TV and Family Ties

Thanks to developments in technology, televisions and other high-tech entertainment devices have become a common part of modern life around the world. Most kids plug into the world of television long before they enter school. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation:

• two-thirds of infants and toddlers watch a screen an average of 2 hours a day
• kids under age 6 watch an average of about 2 hours of screen media a day, primarily TV and videos or DVDs
• kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games

Tuned in or tuned out?

Life in the 21st Century is fast-paced and places huge amounts of pressure on our children’s time and energy. Schoolwork, sport fixtures, after-school activities, electronic devices (such as cellphones, MP3 players and gaming units) all demand our young ones’ time and attention. Now add TV viewing into this equation and suddenly there’s little-if any- time left for family interaction and building interpersonal relationships.

Whilst it may look like a grim picture, we are not suggesting that as parents we should toss out our TVs; but that we should pay more attention to what our children are watching and how much time they spend watching it.

As parents we are ultimately responsible for the development and education of our children. It is important to realise that we are the role models that young ones turn to for guidance and direction when facing important life lessons. To successfully guide and support our children, we need to play an active role in their lives. Ask yourself these questions:

• What is my relationship with my children - am I involved in their lives or am I simply a stranger sharing living space with them?
• Do I give my children undivided time and love or are they competing with my cellphone/emails or other distractions for my attention? 
• Have I created an environment where mealtimes are spent around the table talking about what happened during the day?

Feed the relationship
Research shows that families who share at least one unhurried meal together during the day have stronger communication bonds and are more involved in each other’s lives. Mealtime conversations give parents an ideal opportunity to learn about what happened to their children during the day, whether they are facing difficulties at school and what is on your child’s mind.

This insight can help you to guide and positively influence your children to overcome the challenges they may face. On the other hand, if mealtimes are rushed or spent in front of the TV so we can watch our favourite soapie, what message are we sending to our children about our level of interest in their lives? Surely it won’t be long before they feel that TV is more important than they are!

Control the remote!
Some parents argue that although their children do watch a lot of TV, they do this together as a family. Some even feel that this is quality time spent in each other’s company. 
But consider this: How much time is spent in real conversation when watching TV? We’re not referring to the times that you and Junior may laugh at the same joke during a TV show; we’re referring to meaningful conversations that give you the opportunity to really get to know your child- what hurts them, what makes them laugh, their hopes, dreams and fears. 
So how CAN you keep TV in its rightful place and not allow it to replace you as your child’s role model and mentor?

READ OUR FREE DOWNLOAD TO LEARN MORE.

While there are many entertaining experiences for children to enjoy on TV, it is important to keep in mind what children need at different ages for their healthy development. Children need time to build strong bonds with real and caring people, time for active physical play and ‘hands-on’ activities- and as the parent it is your responsibility to create these learning opportunities for your child.

I wish you all a wonderful and festive season!

Exam, Procrastination & Time Management

When it comes to studying, students are notorious for their excellent procrastination skills. Procrastination during the school year can cause stress and frustration to both students and parents as exams approach and the pressure to remember important facts increases. With just a little bit of planning and organising, the stress levels surrounding exams can be reduced significantly. Let’s see how...

On Your Marks...
You’ve heard it said over and over, but it’s worth repeating: there is no time like the present. Don’t wait for tomorrow or put studying off until the night before the big test, start you exam preparations today. The possibility exists that if you fall into this routine of pre-test cramming; you may well be putting all the information into your short term memory rather than your long-term memory; meaning that you will have to re-learn it all before the next test or exam.

Get Set...
Don’t spend too much time planning and organising either. It can easily happen that you spend hours or days planning to study, organising books and making a neat time table when in fact you are not really focussing on the material you need to be revising. Complete your planning quickly and well ahead of time.
When is the right time to start preparing for an exam? A month, 2 weeks, or maybe 2 even days before? No. The key is to do a little bit of preparation every day from the start of the term so that all the work will be summarised and ready to study by exam time.

STUDYING = revision, identifying possible questions, working out long questions, going over old papers.

Studying is not making notes from scratch.

Go!
Taking notes in class is your first step to being prepared for exams. When you get home after school, take some time to read through your class notes and compare them to your textbook and other material to make sure your notes are complete.

Don’t rewrite your textbook! The idea is to summarise the key points in your textbook into a few pages with as few words as possible. If you like, use colours, pictures, graphs, etc. to make it easy for you to understand your notes.
If you invest a little time every day after school in exam preparation, you won’t waste hours during exam time prettying up your notes; you’ll be ready to study them much faster than if your notes are a mess.

Create a revision sheet for each subject and mark your progress in each section as you complete it. It is also important to make notes of sections you do not fully know or understand and need to return to. This way you can keep track of your progress and it’s a fantastic way for parents to monitor your studying.
Not sure what a revision sheet is or how to make one?
You can download a printable sample revision sheet and print a copy by following this link.

A Break from the action
It is also good to remember that students shouldn’t be studying around the clock.

Study breaks are very important to let the brain rest and be refreshed for the next study session. Study sessions should range between 20 min for Gr. 4 students and 1 hour for Gr. 12 and above.

Breaks should be between 10 and 30 min, but this does not mean taking a quick nap or watching a TV program. During study breaks, students should engage in some kind of physical activity. Play outside with the dog, shoot some hoops, jog around the block, run around the house or just take a walk. The physical activity will help energise your mind in preparation for the next study session.

Whilst we've managed to scratch the surface regarding effective study skills and how to avoid procrastination, a personal consultation with one of our trained Edu-Profilogists® will give you an in-depth insight into YOUR personal learning style. You will also be given customised study skills tips and one on one training on information recall techniques best suited to you. To book your assessment and personal study skills course, email now.

Changing Educational Paradigms

I've discovered this interesting video on changing education paradigms. It's a visualization by RSA Animate of a speech by Sir Ken Robinson. It is an eye opener on current school systems, ADHD and individual learners. It is definitely worth watching the full 12 min.

However, if you don't want to watch the whole video, I have also found a short clip from this video depicting ADHD. This is a must see. 

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!

Career Guidance

How does the Genetic Brain Profile point out the best career for your child (or for you)?

The profile points to various strenghts in the candidate that should be considered when choosing a career, like:
- Prefer to work alone or in a team
- Work best in a closed or open office
- Need to work with people or not
- Dynamic speaker or behind the scenes worker
- Routine- or unpredictable schedule
- Work well under pressure / stress or need a calm working environment
- Major in Numbers, Science, Art, Music, Business, etc.

All of these traits point to different jobs and also different sectors within certain fields, like medicine - a surgeon or a pediatrician.

Keeping the candidate's specific strenghts in mind and combining it with his/her interests, we can find a job that fits like a glove.

The great thing about the Genetic Brain Profile is that it is genetic (you have been born with it) and the test is physical, which means that there are no questions and answers that can be manipulated.
Most other tests rely on hours of filling out forms, answering multiple choice questions and while they are very useful tools, the answers can be guessed or manipulated. People can also score differently when they are sick or if their emotional state is altered, eg. after having a fight with a best friend.

I hope this answers some of your questions. If you want any more information or need clarity on any of my services, feel free to contact me.

The Genetic Brain Profile Report

If you have had your or your child's brain profile done by an Edu-Profilogist like myself, you would know that you'll receive an extensive report after the session.
Adult and child reports vary slightly.

This report covers:
- Dominances and their explanations (Brain, Hand, Foot, Eye, Ear)
- Normal functioning
- Stress functioning
- Barriers (What will cause stress)
- Implications (Explanation off the profile)
- Recommendations, incl. ideal placement in classrooms
- 12 Intelligences (Talents - both inborn and those needing nurture for development)
- * Profile Strenghts
- * Profile Weaknesses
- * Relationship Needs
- * Communications Style
- * Preferred Business Setting
- * Working in a Team
- * Management Style
- Career Indications
* Adult report only, although many of these will be discussed during the session for children as well.

The Genetic Brain Profile explains who you were born to be, your inborn good and bad traits. It is very important to note that nothing in the profile may be used as an excuse!
For instance: if you are right brained it is unacceptable to blame your inability to finish tasks on your right brain.
What you should do is recognise that you have a weakness and that it is caused by your genes, but strive to overcome this weakness by forcing yourself to get out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes we have to do things we don't like. If you are right ear dominant, it will be hard for you to patiently listen to a long winded story (and not zone out or interrupt), but sometimes you have to grind your teeth and suck it up.

It is much harder for children to do something they are uncomfortable with and that doesn't come naturally to them. That is why it is so important for parents to help your child work through the weaknesses and overcome them.

All children need to get through school. All children need to work to get through school, whether they like it or not. All children need to be respectful of other people, both elders and peers. All children need to know what hurts other people and what builds other people.

If you know you child's strengths and weaknesses, you'll know what to focus on and monitor in your child so that your child becomes the best version of himself he can be.

Parenting the Sensitive Child (2)

In this blog post I continue discussing disciplining sensitive children. This time we’ll have a look at children with a Sensitive Ear.

(Missed something? Read about Sensitive Children and Parenting the Sensitive Child (1))

These children are very sensitive to what they hear. They listen to how something was said and not necessarily what was said. Try to speak in normal tones with these children, because raised voices, high pitched voices or loud booming voices physically scare them into stress.

They immediately interpret a loud voice and anger and think that he/she is the cause of that emotion. So if you come home from work and is upset about something a colleague did, keep your voice calm when you tell the story to your sensitive ear child (or partner!), otherwise he/she will probably not hear a word you say - they will worry about why you are angry with them.

This can cause problem with disciplining because, let’s face it, it’s hard to keep your cool when you’re angry or when a child broke your crystal vase from Venice.

Try and see it from the child’s perspective: you are yelling or talking with a raised, angry voice and the child shuts down, not hearing what you are saying, but understanding that you are very angry.

They will probably cry, because they don’t like people being angry at them, but chances are that they don’t know what they did wrong, increasing the chances of repeating that same offence.

A better way of dealing with disciplining is to take a deep breath, count to ten, and ask the child to go to his/her bedroom (or whatever room you have chosen for time out). That gives you time to gather your senses and cool down (keep it under 5min) so that when you go to the child, you can explain calmly in a neutral voice what he/she has done wrong and why you consider it to be wrong. Also talk about punishment for that behaviour in the same normal tone of voice.

This prevents the child from crawling into an emotional hole like a frightened kitten and opens up a chance for discussion and deeper relationship. As the child gets older, this is very important for forming a bond with your teenager who is normally quite detached from parents.

Children with a sensitive eye also flourish under verbal recognition.

Having trouble getting your child to make the bed? Tip: Say in a warm, friendly tone that Mommy will be so proud if he/she makes his/her bed (or whatever chore). When the child does complete the chore, give ample verbal encouragement (don’t be too loud or high-pitched!). The chances of that child doing that chore again, is very good when he/she gets the encouragement and attention they want.

And keep up the encouragement! Until you are sure that the behaviour is imprinted, keep on making a big deal about a chore well done. You can scale it down later as you start concentrating on a different chore.

The flip side is what parents revert to by default: yell when it is not done. Negative attention is still attention and although the child gets scared when you raise your voice, it may count as recognition and will be counterproductive.

Rather concentrate on what is being done well and ask in friendly tones when you and the child are not rushed or busy to complete a previously ignored chore.

Another thing to keep in mind is when giving instructions to these kids, give instructions one at a time instead of a whole list, eg. “Please bring me the milk”, instead of “Please bring me the milk, 2 eggs, bread and salt.” With a list the child is likely to get confused and forget something. One at a time works best for children with a dominant left ear.

Parenting the Sensitive Child (1)

Sensitive children need to be parented and disciplined in a different way and their specific sensitivity must also be taken into account. In this blog post I will be talking about children with a Sensitive Eye.

(If you have missed my previous blog post on sensitive children, HERE it is)

These children need to be restricted by what they see on the television, making sure they don’t see violence, bullying, or people/animals getting hurt. The reason for this is that they experience these much more personally and the images will haunt them and may cause nightmares. Not only for young kids, but also for teenagers, so always keep this in mind.

They also stress immediately when someone looks angry or upset. The first thing their minds jump to is: “What did I do wrong?” and the child may not hear a word you say while looking this way. This means that the child never hears what he/she actually did do wrong, so they probably will do it again.

When your child needs disciplining, make sure that your face and body language is neutral - no frowning, thin mouth line, aggressive or defensive body position, etc.

Understandably this may be impossible for many parents. No need to worry - if you can’t get a hold of your body language, ask the child to close his/her eyes before you explain what they did wrong and how you want them to fix it (apology?).

These kids also do extremely well with visual recognition. Draw up a reward chart (or print one out from the internet!) and mark the chores and behaviours you need from him/her. I suggest using the gold star and black dot system where a gold star is received for every positive behavior and a black dot is for every negative behavior.

You can do this either on a day-by-day chart (1 week at a time) or an open chart where actions receives recognition when done or not done, irrespective of when. What I like about the open chart is that a child can get more than one star (or dot) per day if they deserved it.

Day-to-day 1 week chart

Another way of tackling the open chart is to use only stars and take one away for bad behavior. Or a black dot may be taken down if the child reverses the bad behavior with good.

Open chart

What you need to understand about the chart is that sensitive eye children want to see good recognition and fear bad or ugly feedback. If you can give the black dot “the ultimate bad” reputation, the child will fear it going on the chart and rather do good things to make the bad things disappear. You are responsible to give the stars and dots the association the child needs to understand and pursue them.

Put the chart up somewhere where people will see it. It is no use hiding it in the child's closet, because then his/her friends won't accidentally see it. The child must want to to be proud of the chart when friends see it. The kitchen is always a good spot.

Make sure that the child is always present when stars or dots are put up (or taken down).

More examples of charts (click on the image to see a larger version):

Blog post: How to discipline a child with a sensitive EAR

Sensitive Children

Some children seem to let nothing get them down while others seem to take everything personally. You may or may not be aware that your child is sensitive.

An easy way to check is to watch your child and listen carefully to his/her stories. Does she say yes to things she shouldn’t? Is he concerned about a boy in class that doesn’t like him? Is she always trying to please others?

These are a few ways to guess at sensitivity and the interesting thing about sensitivity is that it is directly connected to either a dominant left ear or left eye or both. This is tested during the genetic brain profile. This is also my favourite part of the brain profile.

Sensitive children all have the following in common:

-    They find it hard to say “no” to people, even if the request is irrational.

-    They want people to be happy. If not, they’ll try to cheer the person up.

-    They want people to like them. If one person doesn’t like them, they’ll be fixated on that and rarely focus on the people who do like them.

-    They are compassionate towards other people and sincere empathy comes naturally to them.

-    When they stress, they feel like the whole world is against them, nobody cares about them, everybody hates them and they may even be scared.

Sensitive EAR	Sensitive EYE
- Sensitive to tone and pitch - Are distracted by noise - If people SOUND angry, they assume it's their fault and stress - Shrill or loud voices = angry voices	- Sensitive to body language - Are distracted by movement - If people LOOK angry, they assume it's their fault and stress - Violence/painful scenes haunts them
*Need VERBAL RECOGNITION	*Need VISUAL RECOGNITION
Spoken words of affirmation: “I love you”, “you are beautiful”, “thank you”, "Mommy is proud of you", etc.	Show affection: hugs; kisses; notes on the fridge, pillow or in lunch boxes; special gestures (eg. favorite dinner), etc.
*This is not an ego booster. Without these recognitions, the child assumes the opposite is true and develops a low self esteem.

It is vital to understand your child’s sensitivity. Giving the wrong kind of recognition leads to misunderstandings and lots of heartache for both parent and child. They also need guidance to learn how to say “no” to people; otherwise they will always be “the sucker who says yes”.

They need to learn how to be compassionate without compromising themselves and for that they need gentle parenting.

Some children have both of these sensitivities, which make them classic people pleasers. Help and show them how to be assertive because they easily fall prey to others’ manipulations. They also need both types of recognition to develop a healthy self esteem.

Some children have no sensitivity at all which you need to be aware of as well. They can become arrogant, defiant and manipulative. They need to learn how to deal with other peoples’ feelings (since they don’t care what other people think of them) and be considerate towards others.

Blog post: How to discipline a child with a sensitive EYE

Blog post: How to discipline a child with a sensitive EAR